Boundaries at work: 4 essential steps for success

Whether you want to be more productive, feel energised rather than overwhelmed or, simply have more time to do things outside of work, setting boundaries is key.

Why do I say setting boundaries is key? Because by claiming and maintaining boundaries you get to:

1. Prioritise what matters,

2. Preserve your energy,

3. Maintain focus and productivity,

4. Protect your time,

5. Prevent overcommittent,

6. Reduce resentment,

7. Decrease work-related stress,

8. Increase your work satisfaction.

All good stuff, right?

So, why is it so daunting to advocate for ourselves sometimes? Because our needs and wants get conflicted.

We need to prioritise what matters to us (get stuff done/end work on time) and, we want to:

-       protect ourselves from judgement or criticism,

-       be liked/seen as helpful,

-       not let others down,

-       ---------- fill in the blank.

If you find prioritising your needs hard, the following four step process will help.

Image: Ales Cerin Unsplash

Tip! You’ll need a pen, paper and a place/time to reflect.

1.    Get clear on what matters most

A starting point is knowing what’s important to you in and out of work. Write down everything that matters to you, then rank it in order of importance to you.

In a work context, below are the top five things that matter to me.

1. Managing my capacity/energy.

2. A sense of control; systems to manage my work, no surprise calls/tasks.

3. Being professional, e.g. staying true to my word, delivering on time

4. Having uninterrupted 2-hour blocks of concentration time.

5. Being present / undistracted in all meetings.

2.    Identify how you will meet these needs

Next you decide how you’ll honour the things that you listed above.

Start by focusing on what’s within your control. Where can you set limits, block out time, better manage activities? 

Here are things that I do in support of what matters to me workwise:

• I know my monthly and weekly primary objectives.

• I list our all related tasks and estimate time to deliver.

• I organise my week so that tasks and meetings/coaching sessions occur when I’m in the right energetic state.

• I let people know when I'm available.

• I buffer tasks with active rest breaks.

• I build in spare capacity.

• If I’m coaching in the evening, I make sure I build in downtime elsewhere in the day.

• I diarise everything. If it’s not on my calendar, it’s unlikely to get done.

• I batch activities to limit switching and maintain focus.

3.    Invert your A.B.C.

By now you should have some ideas of how to prioritise what matters. Let's think now about what might derail our plan.

In my coaching sessions, I use an ‘A.B.C. boundary review’ to help people examine the causes and conditions that leads to unsustainable working practices.

We look at Actions (what they do), Beliefs (what they think) and, Circumstances (when it happens).

To help us see what’s going on I use inversion. The problem-solving technique championed by the investor Waffen Buffet. 

I ask them to list out all the things they’d be thinking and doing that would happen in the work day that make them work later than planned or login later. 

By using inversion, we surface the issues that need addressing rather than simply coming up with ways to better manage their time. This way we can extend our plan to deal with the causes of working long hours, rather than simply treating the symptoms.

Ask yourself:

• What kind of things would I be doing with/for others instead of prioritising my work/needs?

• What would I be saying to myself that would lead to me downgrading my needs/priorities?

• What would be happening that would lead to me choosing to de-prioritise my work/needs?

Once you can see how you sabotage your ability to get work done. You can think about how you might deal with the situations/circumstances that lead you to prioritising other things.

4.    Communicate your boundaries

Now, we know what matters and, how we can achieve it, it’s time to draw boundaries, state limits and say no.

This is often the hardest part for us.

How to think about boundaries

Boundaries protect what matters.

Each time you say no is a vote for what's a priority for you. At the same time, you teach people that your time and tasks matter and, you give permission for them to do the same. 

You make a stand for sustainable working.

When allow others to interrupt and encroach on our time (phone call, squeeze in a Teams meeting when your day/week is already full, drop everything to answer a question), we can find ourselves drained of energy and/or behind on our own work.

Some tips on dealing with a request

If you have a tendency to say yes to requests although you're already stacked, you could try implementing a triage system.

Tell the asking party you’ll consider the request and come back to them. 

Then ask yourself three questions:

1.    What will it cost me, if I say yes? Will it compromise something important?

2.    What is the gain of saying no?

3.    Would I still say yes, if I wasn’t fearful of the consequences of saying no (what they might think of me)?

Remember, it’s not a question if you can do the task (they wouldn’t ask you if you couldn’t) but, should you be taking it on right now?

If you can see a way you can help and it doesn't jeopardise you, offer support.

If you cannot do what is being asked. Remain respectful as you state your no. Do not debate or feel you need to explain.

If it’s a senior member of staff, share what’s on your plate already and decide together what can be de-prioritised, if what they're asking for is non-negotiable.

If you think you could support in a different way or someone else might be able to help, make suggestions.

If you're regularly asked for your input, consider setting "surgery" times in your day that people can book. There will be other things they can get on with until you can see them.

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If you’re feeling pulled in lots of directions, working long hours to keep up or find it difficult to prioritise your work/personal needs, it’s time to do some boundary work.

By knowing what’s important, implementing systems and creating boundaries to protect it, we say yes to sustainable working, respecting each other’s time and creating a healthier workplace culture.

Take care of you.

My mission is to help busy people work with wellness so they can do all that they wish to in their work and personal lives.

If I can support you in getting some clarity in what matters most, identifying how you down priortise your needs or, boosting your confidence in claiming boundaries, message me here.

Nothing changes, if nothing changes.