9 things everyone should know about self-care

Key principles of self-care that support wellbeing and help work feel more sustainable

Wellbeing isn't static. How we feel can fluctuate from day to day, depending on what we’re carrying, what’s being asked of us, and what resources we have available.

When we take time to notice what we need and respond with intention, we can often support ourselves to feel and function better. This is self‑care.

Yet self‑care is still sometimes thought of as selfish, indulgent, or something to think about if there’s time. In reality, it’s a practical and necessary part of working and living well.

Below are some key principles that underpin a more realistic, sustainable approach to self‑care. These aren’t rules or a checklist — simply ideas to notice and work with in a way that fits you.

1. Self-care is deliberate action

Self‑care can be surprisingly hard to define. One widely used definition comes from the Self‑Care Forum, which describes self‑care as:

The actions that individuals take...in order to develop, protect, maintain and improve their health, wellbeing or wellness.

These actions sit on a continuum. Some are everyday practices that help us stay well; others are ways we care for ourselves when we're feeling ill or managing a long-term condition.

2. Self-care is personal

Our sense of wellbeing is subjective. It's shaped by how we feel, how we function day to day, and how we experience our lives.

That means self‑care looks different for different people. An activity that energises one person may drain another.

For example, going for a run will not lift my mood or energy levels — I know it does the opposite. But for someone else, it may be exactly what they need.

A participant on one of my Bring Mindfulness to Life programmes summed this up perfectly when they realised that self‑care actions are those we enjoy, not endure.

This aligns with research by Lyubomirsky and colleagues (3), which suggests that the activities we choose to do offer a meaningful opportunity to support wellbeing over time.

3. Self-care goes beyond our physical needs

Sleep, nutrition, hydration, movement and hygiene all matter. But as human beings we also have psychological and social needs that, if unmet, affect how we feel and function.

I group these into seven broad areas of need (inspired by Maslow and the Human Givens approach). Together they highlight why wellbeing can dip even when our basic physical needs are being met.

Our Super Seven Needs

Depending on our circumstances, some needs may be well supported while others are stretched.

We can meet these needs in different ways — through relationships, hobbies, work, creativity, spirituality, or time in nature.

For example, fulfilment for me might come from:

• being asked to contribute an article (purpose and recognition)

• deep‑cleaning my kitchen (safety and achievement)

• discussing new ideas (connection and development)

• walking on the beach (physical needs and meaning)

4. Self-care requires self-knowledge

If we’re responsible for our own self‑care, we need to understand what helps and what hinders us.

That means taking time to notice:

• what drains or tires us

• what sustains or energises us

• which situations increase the load

From this place of self‑knowledge, we can plan more intentionally — especially for demanding days, meetings or conversations.

We can also arrange our days to include small points of recovery, rather than moving from one depleting activity to the next until we’re running on empty.

5. Self-care can be done in the doing

Self‑care is often framed as something that happens after everything else is done.

After this task…At the weekend…When things are quieter…

In reality, life and work are rarely finished enough to make this approach work.

When we’re constantly doing, we may miss the small moments that can support us: completing a task, having a useful conversation, noticing sunshine, or feeling a sense of progress.

One practice I often suggest is simply noticing the moments that quietly replenish us — however small they seem.

6. Self-care includes protection

Self‑care isn’t only about what we do; it’s also about what we choose not to do.

Protecting wellbeing means recognising limits and creating boundaries. Without them, self‑care has very little chance of working.

This might include:

• saying no (or not yet)

• not extending the working day unnecessarily

• choosing longer‑term wellbeing over short‑term pressure

Boundaries aren’t rigid or unkind. They’re a way of working responsibly with our capacity.

Related post: Why bother with boundaries?

7. Self-care starts with self-awareness

Alongside self‑knowledge, self‑awareness helps us notice when something is shifting.

When we’re task‑focused or busy, it’s easy to lose connection with how we’re doing. But we can’t respond to our needs if we don’t notice them.

Everyday activities — making a drink, washing our hands, stepping outside — can become brief check‑in points.

A few intentional breaths can interrupt the urge to push on automatically, helping us pause and choose a more supportive next step.

This can be particularly helpful when work feels overwhelming, overscheduled or demanding.

8. Self-care is not selfish

When we don’t look after our ability to think, function and relate well, we have less to give — to others and to our work.

Self‑care isn’t about withdrawing from responsibility; it’s about sustaining our ability to meet it.

The familiar aeroplane oxygen‑mask analogy applies here: tending to ourselves first is not selfish, it’s necessary.

9. Self-care develops self-advocacy

In Western cultures, work often prioritises what needs to be done, overlooking the needs of the person doing it.

Self‑care shifts the focus back to capacity, helping us take our needs into account, make requests, and state boundaries — without apology.

Seen this way, self‑care is an act of responsible self‑leadership, not indulgence.

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If we want to flourish and not flounder, we need to work with the physical, psycho-social and emotional systems that shape how we function.

That means acknowledging them, caring for them, and allowing them to inform how we work.

In doing so, we not only understand ourselves better — we relate more humanly to others too.

Take care of you,

Tracey

Further reading

1: Godfrey CM, Harrison MB, Lysaght R, Lamb M, Graham ID, Oakley P. (2011). Care of self - care by other - care of other: the meaning of self-care from research, practice, policy and industry perspectives. Int J Evid Based Health. 2011 Mar;9(1):3-24. doi: 10.1111/j.1744-1609.2010.00196.x. PMID: 21332659.

2: Self-care Forum (n.d.). What do we mean by self care and why is it good for people? Retrieved 22 April, 2021.

3: Lyubomirsky, S., Sheldon, K. M., & Schkade, D. (2005). Pursuing happiness: The architecture of sustainable change. Review of General Psychology, 9(2), 111–131.

4: Cherry, K. (2021). The 5 Levels of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs Retrieved 22 April, 2021, from verywellmind