This post summarises how I found week 4 of the mindfulness course I did.
This week our home practice alternated between Body Scan meditation and standing Mindful Movement. I enjoyed the Mindful Movement in class, it is reminiscent of Chi Kung which I already do. I know that improvement in anything is never in a straight line but after the experiences last week - "being with the ironing" - I was disappointed that my practice just felt like ticking the box this week.
So a restlessness grows...and one sees how imperfect it is compared with what was glimpsed. One attempts to get back to the glimpse, to enlarge, and finds one cannot! Till at last it is seen that one did not bring this on at all. It happened in a moment when self was still, when we had relinquished our hold on self (Tony Crisp)
We had been warned early on in the course that there might be times when we might want to give up and that this was normal so I continued to daily practice. I noticed that my mind wandered less during meditation, I could anchor my attention but I did seem blank and flat inside.
Outcomes/learning points
Striving for something or wanting things to be different does not make them so. It is better not to have expectations then we cannot be disappointed.
The world is continuous flux and impermanent (Buddha)